CrazyTown Gets Some Hate Mail
by NeoExplosion
Summary: This is where the Percy Jackson Characters voice their feelings about Fan Fiction. This is the third installment in my CrazyTown parody series.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Fanfiction,

It has come to my attention that your writers happen to know of what happens in our everyday lives. I do not know how you have come to find this information, but it would be highly appreciated if you would stop. I would also like you to stop writing fictuous accounts of what happens to us. Some of my students have written passages to show their feelings about this. I have enclosed them in this letter.

Sincerely,

Chiron


	2. Chapter 2

Fanfiction,

Thanks for recognizing me and my friends. But honestly, you guys have the most disturbing pairs for me. Me and Thalia is pushing the envelope, saying that she is a hunter of Artemis. But honestly, Perico! Me and Nico are not gay for each other! What is wrong with you people? That is like taking the envelope and ripping it to little tiny shreds! I mean, me and Annabeth have been seeing each other since my birthday, but we haven't done anything serious. By the way, I don't think Athena would like it if I dumped Annabeth for her or Artemis. That's kind of disturbing. Almost as disturbing as Grover eating meat, since he is a die-hard vegan. And I also don't have a sister or anything like that. I would know if I did. I think that's all for now, oh and please lay off the weird truth or dares... they creep me out!

Bye,

Perseus Jackson


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Fanfiction,

Thank you for publishing stories about me and Percy. Some of you though have taken them too far. Like rated X far. I would highly appreciate it if you would stop. If you don't, I can trace your computers and find out where you live. I don't think you would like all of Camp Half-Blood knocking at your door in full battle armor. You also pair him with Rachel, and I think that's weird. He obviously DOESN'T like her that way. Also, I hate those fics where I pour my heart out in song or something gushy like that. Gods, it is SO annoying. Please refrain yourselves from ever posting such nonsense again.

Sincerely,

Annabeth Chase


	4. Chapter 4

Fanfiction! Do you know how angry I am at you! I am so angry that I want to burn down your house and smash your computer with Maimer! Stop making me look like a gooey lovey-dovey girly girl! I am NOT a daughter of Aphrodite. And why is kissing or flirting with me always a punishment or evil dare in truth or dare fics? It's like you don't like me or something. And that makes me ANGRY! Stop this or I will hunt you down!

Angry,

Clarisse La Rue


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Fanfiction,

I hope that you disgusting losers are happy with yourselves. You all sicken me. Do you not know what a Hunter of Artemis is? You obviously do, since you made me quit in your stupid fanfics! And for what? To go out with Nico or Percy? Nico is a sorry little emo kid that mopes around the underworld doing Zeus knows what. Percy is so taken by Annabeth, and she would murder me with her knife if I went out with him. And I see some of you pair me with Luke. Castellan is dead! I wouldn't date even if he was alive. I sacrificed myself so he could live, and what does he do? He betrays Annabeth, poisons my tree, and brings Kronos to life! If it wasn't for him, a lot of my Hunters wouldn't have died! Zoe wouldn't be dead either. So you sickos better lay off, you hear?

Good riddance,

Thalia, Lieutenant of Artemis, Daughter of Zeus


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Whatever Your Name Is,

I honestly can't believe you. you have made a lot of people angry. But I'm not angry. You guys seem to love me! I am very flattered that you have created so many original characters to go out with me. Some of them are obvious Mary Sues, but some seem like real girls, that I would really date. But I do mind you guys pairing me with my cousins. That's kind of gross. I'm not gay, and I think of Thalia as an older, annoying sister. But I don't understand why you guys always pick on me in those stupid truth or dare fics. Either the host is cray-cray for me, or you guys have the Aphrodite cabin dress me up like a Ken doll. You people have some serious mental issues that you should look over with a doctor. I cannot date an internet avatar or a fictional character, no matter how much you want me to.

Whatever,

Nico di Angelo


	7. Chapter 7

Dear FanFiction,

Thanks for putting me on here, I guess? I don't show up on here very much, except for Liper and Leyna. Reyna is a little too _I am high and mighty, do as I say! _for me. Beauty Queen would beat me up if she ever even heard me think that. Plus, I don't like her like that. Beauty Queen is not my type. Not saying that I don't like her, but I am not attracted to her. I like girls like Khione and Thalia. Powerful, strong, independent, and beautiful. Not hot or cute, but beautiful. But neither of them would go for a guy like me. I'll always be the seventh wheel, like Nemesis said. Oh well, enough about me, just stop messing with my love life would you?

Goodbye,

Leo Valdez


	8. Chapter 8

Dear FanFiction,

Thanks for your support with me and Jason's new relationship. Well, some of you, anyways. I've noticed that some of you must hate me. You kill me off so Jason can be with Reyna, and that makes me kind of sad. And then some of you pair me with Leo and I think that's weird. And in your messed up truth or dare fics I act like Drew! I mean, it's not like I want to snog (that means make out) with Jason all the time. And I don't want him that badly. And I certainly don't want to be that evil. I don't even like being evil to people. Oh, and I am not a Mary Sue!

Love my fans,

Piper McLean 3


	9. Chapter 9

Dearest FanFiction,

I am grateful for recognition from your fan base, but I would appreciate you staying out of my life. I obviously like Piper, and I don't think she would get in a fight with Reyna over me. Leo doesn't like Reyna or Piper, and he would not bet Thalia to quit the Hunters. I can never be a full god, and I don't think I would leave Piper. I don't really have any other problems, except I would never fight with Percy voluntarily, and I doubt he could beat me.

Forever a hero,

Jason Grace


	10. Chapter 10

Hi Fanfiction!

This his Travis Stoll here with an important announcement. I don't have the hots for Katie. There! I said it! I know that a lot of fangirls are going to rip my heart out, but I don't like her like that. Hades, I don't even like her at all! I can't stand her! Just leave us alone you weirdoes! But I do appreciate the fact that I always remain in character in your stories. Thank you for keeping me a devilishly handsome, hilarious, and dangerously annoying Stoll brother! Oh, and my brother says that he doesn't like Katie either, and that he is a total prankster.

Peace out,

Travis Stoll


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Fan-Fiction,

I don't like Travis Stoll, and I still am planning revenge for the chocolate Easter bunny stunt. Enough said.

-Katie Gardner


	12. Chapter 12

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE GODS:

TO FANFICTION-

We, the gods, do not like your portrayal of our children and ourselves, not including Aphrodite. We do not harbor secret feelings for each other or each others children. Artemis is extremely mad that you would write that she loves certain men. Athena and Posiedon do not harbor love for each other, and they do retain a strictly professional relationship, not pranking each other or yelling insults. Zeus and Hera are still happy in their marriage, and accept each other for who they are. Apollo does not have his own set of male hunters, and does not date his oracle. Demeter is not that possessive of Persephone, and Hades is not either. Dionysous loves his wife and doesn't cheat on her with other women. Hestia is perfectly happy as she is. Stop publishing things that say otherwise.

Signed,

THE OLYMPIAN COUNCIL

P.S. _I 3 how you encourage all of my love stories! And you make so many more! I never thought of Percimis before! Keep on writing!_

_LOVE,_

_**Aphrodite**_** ;)**


End file.
